"Well, to be more realistic, her mom almost got a heart attack, and her sisters almost beat me up," Juan says. "The good thing was that she didn't have any brothers."

In another young family, Claudia was 16 when she married Sandro, who was 20. "I told them I'm in love," Claudia says. "I felt that he was always going to be there, and he is. He's always been there for me."

In the past decade, the number of teens getting married has gone up 50 percent. Today, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 4.5 percent of all teens are married. There are a number of theories about why. One is that the structure of recent welfare reform changes encourages marriage. Another, that the abstinence movement does the same. Whatever the reason, experts say teen marriages are risky.

"Even though they're wonderful and bright and sparkly, and have their choices and their feelings, all of which are important, they also are still children," says Valerie Houghton, a family therapist. "They still are trying to figure out where they fit in the world, what kind of path they want their lives to take."

That is why, Houghton says, the parents of teens considering marriage must help balance fantasy with reality. Adulthood can appear very glamorous to teenagers, and they may look forward to the freedom.

"What they don't realize is what all of us come to realize, which is, guess what? Once you get there, you have all these jobs to do," Houghton says.

A job, a home, insurance; the logistics of adulthood require maturity and a lot of hard work. Anai and Juan say they are happy and have no regrets. Both have found jobs at his family's restaurant. But Claudia says if she had to do it over, she would have waited.

"It's hard, because I'm a wife, I'm a mother, and I'm a student. But one thing I know," Claudia says, "I'm going to get my dreams come true."

By Mandy Rider
CWK Network, Inc.

The number of American teenagers tying the knot jumped 50 percent during the 1990s, with 4.5 percent of 15 to 19 years olds saying "I do." With teen marriage on a decade-long decline, these numbers came as a surprise to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Researchers found this trend surprising, considering most Americans are generally waiting longer to get married. In 2000, for men the median age for a first marriage was 27, up from 26 in 1990 and 23 in 1950. For women, the median age was 25 in 2000, up from 24 in 1990 and 20 in 1950.

Reasons for this sudden increase in the number teen marriages remains unclear, but experts believe social issues such as welfare reform and public health concerns like AIDS may play a factor.

Teen marriages are a cause for concern among many. Some researches attribute the high divorce rate on the rising number of teen marriages. Research from the National Center for Health Statistics found nearly half of marriages in which the bride is 18 or younger end in separation or divorce within 10 years. For brides 25 and older, half as many marriages break up. Most states allow marriage at 18 years of age, with exceptions given in certain locations for people as young as 12 who have their own child or receive parental approval.

If your teen suddenly declares they are getting married,` what can you do? In most states, if they are 18 years of age, they can get married without your consent. If the child is a minor, your consent will be needed, unless they are pregnant or currently have a child, at which time they may get approval from a judge.

If you disapprove of the marriage, the first thing you should do is sit down with your teen to discuss the situation. Ask them if they are truly ready. Suggest they take their time and consider their choices. Bring up issues such as financial stability, college, career and children. Discuss some of the challenges of marriage. If they still insist on getting married, suggest they seek pre-marital counseling. Because the odds are not in their favor, you should explain to the couple the ingredients of a strong and healthy marriage. Suggest they read or consider the following tips provided by the Gottman Institute:

• If your teen does decide to marry, suggest the couple seek help early if they begin experiencing problems. The average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems (half of all marriages that end do so in the first seven years). This means the average couple lives with unhappiness for far too long.
• Remind them that editing is important. Remind the couple that those who avoid saying every angry thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest.
• Suggest they soften the "start up." Arguments first "start up" because a spouse sometimes escalates the conflict from the beginning by making a critical or contemptuous remark in a confrontational tone.
• Tell them to have high standards. Happy couples have high standards for each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behavior from one another. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.
• Suggest the teens learn to repair and exit the argument. Successful couples know how to exit an argument. Happy couples know how to repair the situation before an argument gets completely out of control. Successful repair attempts include: changing the topic to something completely unrelated; using humor or caring remarks and making it clear you're on common ground. If an argument gets too heated, take a 20-minute break, and agree to approach the topic again when you are both calm.
• Tell them to focus on the bright side. In a happy marriage, couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship as opposed negative ones. A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity.

The Atlanta Journal Constitution
Gottman Institute
National Center for Health Statistics