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Summer Camp Woes
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| Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009 | | CWK Producer |
“The whole purpose of camp is to be able to go off and become more complete, well defined individual, separate from the family, to have a positive, fun experience and if that isn’t happening, then we’re kind of defeating the purpose of camp.”
– Terry Orme, Ph.D., Child Psychologist
“What do you want to take to camp, Chelsea?” asks Chelsea’s mom. “First things first- flashlight,” she says. She and her parents are planning her packing list for camp.
This year, 8 year old Chelsea is excited about going. But last summer wasn’t so easy. There were plenty of times when all she wanted was to go home. “But once I was scared, once I was crying when I was 7, for my mommy,” she remembers.
Many kids experience some form of homesickness and sometimes the symptoms can be severe including bed-wetting, excessive crying, and sleeplessness.
If those symptoms occur, says child psychologist Terry Orme, “Then you know that there’s a real issue with the anxiety associated with that camp.”
Experts say in those cases parents should talk with the camp counselor and if they agree the child is not adapting well it may be time to bring them home.
“The whole purpose of camp is to be able to go off and become more complete, well defined individual, separate from the family, to have a positive, fun experience,” explains Orme, “and if that isn’t happening, then we’re kind of defeating the purpose of camp.”
Chelsea’s mom found ways to ease her daughter’s anxiety. First, she encouraged Chelsea to have occasional sleepovers at friend’s houses.
And, second, she visited the camp herself and walked around it with her daughter.
“So you don’t want to just go from where the child has only been in the house, in his room for six years and never anywhere else, to a month at camp, that’s too big a jump,” says Orme.
With the help of her parents, Chelsea conquered her first fear: going to camp. And once she got there, she conquered her second: the climbing wall the kids call “the beast.”
“And then you’re like very proud of yourself and stuff,” says Chelsea.
What We Need To Know
More and more summer camps are now inviting parents to camp with their child. The International Riding Camp in New York offers a mother-daughter week as an “ideal way for the young, first time camper to experience summer camp.”
But, is having a parent along really “ideal?”
Some children benefit from some time away from mom and dad. The American Camping Association, (ACA) says that camping provides opportunities for children to experience healthy, successful separation from parents. This, in turn, helps children discover who they are and to recognize their strengths. The National Camp Association points out that camping provides the opportunity for children to develop interpersonal skills and to become more responsible and independent. Having a parent along could interfere with a camper’s ability to get the most out of the camping experience.
Although it can be difficult for a child to separate from his parents, it can be even more so for the parents. The ACA has some coping tips for children and parents:
- If possible, visit the camp ahead of time so that your child will be familiar with the surroundings.
- Consider arranging for a first time camper to attend with a close friend, relative, or camp “buddy.”
- Do not tell your child in advance that you will “rescue” him from camp if he doesn’t like it.
- Discuss what camp will be like well before your child leaves, acknowledging feelings. Consider role-playing anticipated situations such as using a flashlight to find the bathroom.
- Send a letter to your child before camp begins so she will have a letter waiting for her arrival.
- Allow your child to pack a favorite stuffed animal and/or picture as a reminder of home.
If your child experience adjustment problems, such as homesickness, the ACA has the following recommendations:
- Talk candidly with the camp director to obtain her perception of your child’s adjustment.
- Resist the temptation to “rescue” your child.
- Acknowledge your child’s feelings and communicate your love.
- Support your child’s efforts to work out the problems with the help of the camp staff.
- Remind him, if necessary, that he has made a commitment.
- Trust your instincts: If, after a reasonable amount of time and effort, your child is truly miserable and has not adjusted to camp life, allow the child to return home.
Resources
- American Camping Association
- International Riding Camp –New York
- National Camping Association
